When President George W. Bush referred to himself as "the decider" last week, there was the ensuing list of dinner party queries
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It seems the president, who thought he was simply fending off pressure to dismiss Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld —"I'm the decider, and I decide what's best," he said, adding that he had no intention of letting Mr. Rumsfeld go — has unwittingly added to the lexicon of marital relations.
Anita Willoughby and Jeffrey Naiditch were just polishing off their papaya mousse cake at a dinner party in Lower Manhattan last Sunday night when Mr. Naiditch decided it was time to go home. His wife was not quite ready to leave.
"He said, 'I am the decider, I get to say,' " Ms. Willoughby said. The small group dissolved into laughter, and a bit of nervous chatter.
Sure, "The Daily Show" has featured "the Decider" as a comic book character. But while spouses are often quick to say they jointly consider where to vacation, how many children to have, what car to buy and where to live, each is often quick to lay claim to some, if not all, of the domestic terrain.
Amy Popp, who stays home with her two children in the suburbs of Chicago, says she and her husband, Greg, consult on most things. Except the important ones.
"I decide what we can realistically afford," said Ms. Popp, 38. "I decide if the kid really needs to go to Joey's birthday party even though we never see him outside of school. I decide to buy Mother's Day cards for great-grandmas and send them. I decide when and where most things happen because I'm the one driving there, or wrapping the gift or whatever. Most decisions in this household affect me more than Greg, therefore I make them."
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