This I learned from that one afternoon I spent just listening to the music the rain composed for me. It's been a while since I really stopped and listened to all the other sound around me. The rain, though somewhat angry on the rooftop taught me one good lesson. Listen.
Lately, I've never done anything but complain about so many things. Put blame on anything when things go wrong just to hide myself under the safety net. I never realized that I am part of this. I tried to shut my eyes from the world's cruelty without realizing that I myself is responsible for one heart's sorrow.
I am a terrible woman. I've pushed away the only person who saw the goodness in me. The only person who reminded me of the rhythm and rhymes that I have long forgotten. He gave me back my melodies. He brought me back to the sweet smell of home in the middle of this unfamiliar crowd. Even with the very little strength he had left at the end of the day, he cradled me in his arms the way he carries a newborn at sunrise.
Perhaps you'd think I have gone crazy for sending him away. I couldn`t blame you. How could I turn my back on someone so wonderful, so funny, so spontaneous? Like I said, I have gone insane. Lost control. I was angry at the world. Drained from all the pressure at work. These could perfectly be quite good excuses but not enough to justify what I have done. Truth is...I have been so scared. So afraid to tell him that all I really wanted was to come home to him as night falls. I did otherwise. Words failed me. How long does it take before the wound heals? Wish I knew the answer.
All I could do is listen to the sound of the raindrops right now. Hoping that its heavy downpour would drown the sound of my own heartbeat. I learned to listen but this time I choose not to. Just let the rain fall this time.