Little By Little
I'll never deny the fact that I liked you. I really did and I guess I still do. And if i have to admit it to you personally.. I would but I prefer not to. Its not that im ashamed or what,its just that im afraid I would look stupid in your eyes. The mere fact that I don't look good in your sight makes me real sick. All the more if time will come and I'll find out how you laugh to death with your friends everytime you'll see me.. I juz don't wanna be branded as the "girL-who has-a-crush-on-*****"... siyet... I won't be abLe to take that. Well, maybE that's too much or maybe not? But hey, believe or not it was you who caused this paranoia. There are times when I don't want to hear what you say because they all echo one thing-- "i like you"... but when i finally indulge in that idea somehow destiny finds its way to wake me up and make me feel the lashes of reality. It opens my eyes to the sad truth that the love that I thought was mine was never intended for me and never will it be. I was fooled by the idea that you could be "the one". It was only now that I realize that I am totally wrong ... but who cares? no big deal right?
Yeah, no big deal and yet here I am trying to express my emotions... my worthless cries... You wouldn't be able to read this anyway. You won't be able to have even an idea of hoe broken I am now... how worthless I feel... I'm shattered into pieces and right now I still can't imagine how my I would be able to move on...
Don't get me wrong! I'm not blaming it all on you. You didn't ask me to fall. I was falling without me even knowing. Suddenly, I just realized that you weren't just part of my life... you are already my life! Yes, that's too much and that's exactly how foolish I feel now. My whole world changed! My life wasn't as it was before you came. Everything is quite different. I'm even starting to admit that I don't even know myself now..
Whatever I'm feeling right now is none of your business. If you really want to help then just let me go. I need to be free. I need to stay away from you. I guess that's the best thing that you could do. Who knows after sometime everything would be a lot better.
Whoever you choose to offer your devotion to is none of my business either. I just really hope that the world isn't that small, that I won't need to grasp for air. Whoever she is, I don't need to know and I wouldn't want to know [ though I already know!well kinda]... Not from you... Not from the lips that I adore... Not now... I'm already broken I don't know how painful this would get. All I know is that inside I'm dying.
Don't worry I can handle this. I can recover. Maybe not now, nor tomorrow or anytime this month or even this year, but I will be able! Little by little I'll be able to move on... little by little I'm gonna be able to recover my shattered pieces... little by little I'm gonna get over this paranoia- over you. I'm gonna do that... little by little.