Article: Clean Up Your Language With These 7 Assertive Techniques
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Clean Up Your Language With These 7 Assertive Techniques
If you want to put your relationships onto a more assertive footing, and earn more respect from others, there?s no better way to do it than to use the following 7 verbal techniques.
1. ?I? Messages, Not ?You? Messages. When we use "You" messages, as in "You make me angry" or "You made me do that", we disown our feelings, make others responsible for how we feel, and, for good measure, pass judgment on their behaviour. It's no surprise that "you" messages are called "poison phrases". In Assertiveness, "you" messages are replaced by "I" messages. "I" messages dispassionately describe the feelings we have and the event that caused these feelings. We own them and don't blame others.
Not: "You make me so angry when you turn up late."
But: "I feel angry when y...
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